


The Couch

by yuffiehighwind



Series: An Eternity in Cheese Country [21]
Category: Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, Xena: Warrior Princess
Genre: Dual Identity, F/M, Milwaukee, Modern Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-08-26
Updated: 2003-08-26
Packaged: 2018-11-23 13:59:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11403882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuffiehighwind/pseuds/yuffiehighwind
Summary: Sometimes you find a couch from your past at an antique dealer, and sometimes it reminds you of a mistake you almost wish you'd made.





	The Couch

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of the 'fic series "An Eternity in Cheese Country," and here's why - after they were killed by Callisto and Xena, the souls of Strife, Discord, and Deimos were reincarnated in the late 20th century into three humans named Steve, Veronica, and Dave.
> 
> Originally composed August 2003; revised July 2017.

Not a lot Strife did could surprise Discord anymore. She was sure she'd seen it all. She was wrong.

"What the fuck did you do?"

"Ya like it?"

"What the _fuck_ did you _do?"_

"I got it at the antique store downtown. Ya like it?"

" _What_ the fuck _did_ you do?"

"Ya don't like it."

It was a leopard-print couch that matched, exactly, the old one he used to lounge on back in Greece. That couch held a lot of memories, both good, bad, and just plain weird. Discord was sure she was staring at it right then. But the thought was absurd. That couch was long dead with the rest of her old life. And yet here it was, in their living room.

"I don't understand, Strife. How on Earth did you find this?"

"Whadaya mean?"

"It's the same exact couch of yours from back before the Twilight. That's over 2,000 years ago."

" _Ohh_ , you mean the pattern's similar."

"No, I mean it's exactly the same."

He sat down on it, bounced a bit and felt the fabric, peering at it.

"Hey, you're right. It does look the same."

"Because it _is_ the same."

_Did this mean something?_

"C'mere."

"Excuse me?"

"Sit down. Let's check this out."

"What happened to the old couch?"

"I sold it. Sit down."

Discord crossed her arms.

"You sold it? To buy this ancient artifact?"

"It matches better."

He gestured around the apartment. Nothing matched, least of all the couch. It was what shred of the old Strife that was left talking, surely.

"C'mon, Discord. Sit down."

"No thanks."

"Why not? Sit down!"

He grabbed her arm and pulled. Discord spilled into his lap.

"Aah! Hey!"

_Smack._

Pained face morphed into a high-decibel giggle. This couch thing was working its mojo on the man. He seemed his old hyper self. Strife shook his hands. Were those sound effects in the background?

"Just like old times, eh?"

"Right. Old times."

"How many people made it on this couch, eh?"

Another amused chuckle and Discord settled herself beside him. His arm didn't wrap around her. His hands went to each side of him, Strife grasping the leopard pelt as though to absorb it. Discord brushed hair out of her face and tried to remember.

"Too many."

Strife stuck out his tongue and his face scrunched up unattractively in deep thought. Discord's gaze went to the far wall and her fingers ticked each off as she counted the tally up in her head. She glanced sidelong at Strife to gauge his responses.

"You and Ares."

"No doubt."

" _Me_ and Ares."

" _Without_ a doubt."

"Ares and those nymphs."

Nod.

"Ares and those priestesses."

Head waggle and laugh.

"Ares and those _priests_."

Eyeroll.

" _You_ and those priests."

Smirk.

"Me and those priests."

Fond nod.

"You and Cupid."

Smug smile.

"Ares and Aphrodite."

Double appreciative nods, double takes at each other, and snorts of disgust.

"Ares and Xena?"

"Nah."

Frowns.

"Ares and..."

"Ares and every person on Earth."

"Ah, yes."

Sighs.

"Me and..."

Inquisitive look.

"Um..."

Discord's hair fell in her face, but Strife brushed it away. Discord glowered.

"Me and Deimos."

_"Deimos?"_

Discord looked at her hands and counted the times, then held up two hands, then two more hands to Strife's widening eyes and gaping shocked mouth. Finally, the melodramatic reactions faded to a shameful, sheepish look. Then Strife broke into a wide grin.

"Me too."

In a surge of irrational jealousy, Discord smacked Strife's arm. Then slapped it. Then punched him for good measure. He cried out in pain, asking why she inflicted such abuse. Discord glared at him and he got it. Backed off, but couldn't help snickering.

"Who else?"

"Nah, nobody else," said Discord, though she could think of one other pair of almost-lovers she could mention.

Long pause. Strife literally scratched his head, then stretched his arms out on the couch back. One arm snaked behind Discord, who didn't notice until she leaned back. She looked at Strife, who looked back, brow furrowed. Discord opened her mouth to speak but then stopped.

"No, what?" he said.

Discord bit her lip, unsure whether she should answer.

"Wasn't there that one time?"

Strife seemed puzzled. Either that or he was purposefully being obtuse.

"What time?"

"With Dionysus' wine?"

"Hold on a second, back up. What time with _what_ wine?"

Discord's eyebrows shot up, surprised he could have forgotten. But Strife just looked confused, thick as ever. Discord rolled her eyes and stood up.

"Nothing."

"Not nothing. What?"

Discord spread her arms, voice rising, a tinge of sarcasm to her tone.

"Well, since everyone in the _world_ has made out or made 'it' on this couch, why not...?"

Strife still didn't seem to remember, so Discord gave up again and headed for her bedroom.

"Why not _what?"_ Strife hollered after her.

But she had already shut the door.


End file.
